I am on maternity leave #2: Putting your child in the best position to succeed

Hello families! David is 2 months old!

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Watching my little one achieves each milestone has brought me so much joy! The changes I am excited about are not only physical growth but also the development that has occurred in his mind. He started recognizing me and my husband (cognitive), cooing (language), smiling (social), and attempting self-soothing (emotional). These changes can be more subtle than visually obvious physical changes so parents necessitate different ways to recognize and support their attempts as well as achievements in these areas of development. I thought it would be great to share what I have worked on with my husband that has expanded our little one’s development over the past month.


Observing


As I mentioned, these areas of development are more difficult to notice and measure than the changes in a baby’s body. Therefore, my husband and I needed to observe our little one closely. For example, slight changes in facial expression or body movements can mean something.  We may see small hand movements which are his attempt to bat a toy. We may see that he is better at calming himself in a certain position. Also, we may see that he looks away or closes his eyes in order to take a break and have some time to refocus. When we pay attention, we can notice more of his attempts and accomplishments as well as be able to accommodate him better.


Waiting


The responses from babies have a different timeline than us. Their time to respond to their surroundings is expected to be longer than ours. In other words, they require more time to process what is going on and then to respond. For example, our little one is able to track our faces with his eyes, but it takes a few seconds. He is able to respond with cooing when we say, “I love you” but again this would be delayed a bit when compared to communication among adults. We have tried to provide our little one with enough time to process and respond to us.


Responding


When babies initiate interactions by cooing and smiling at us, we can respond back to the baby. This motivates babies to continue to have interactions with us. Then, the interactions between babies and us will be circled. This cycle of back and forth interactions is called, “serve and return” and it is a key foundation piece of healthy brain development. 


Talking to my baby


Talking to babies is very important for language development. Even though they cannot understand what we mean exactly, they learn pre-language skills through facial expressions, gestures, imitations, joint attention, taking turns, etc. When I suggested to my husband to talk more to our son, he told me that he was not sure what to say. Here are two easy ways of how we can continue to carry a conversation with our little one.

  • We describe what we are doing. For example, when I am cooking, I can say, “So now, mommy is going to cut the carrots. Before that, let’s wash them. I am turning on the tap and washing these carrots. I am cutting them in half lengthwise first. Oh, this carrot is pretty hard. I need to use my muscles. I am cutting them across so the pieces can be in half-moon shapes”

  • We pretend that we are having a conversation with our baby. We act like his cooing and babbling means something that is suitable in the context of the conversation. For example, I can ask, “What should we do today?” Like any other typical conversation, I would look at my baby, pause, and wait for his reactions. My facial expression will indicate that I expect his answer. He may coo back to me. Then, I can say, “Yes, that is a very good idea. The weather is very nice so we can walk to the park”


Providing opportunities to master new skills


In order for babies to learn how to walk, they need to try walking countless times. Like physical development, other areas of development also require much practice. The more they are exposed to environments where they can freely experiment with new skills, the sooner they can master those new skills. I have noticed that my baby has started to self-soothe. So, we decided to give him opportunities to practice self-soothing. We have started putting him down when he is sleepy but awake. We started it during his first nap when he is the most sleepy. Now, we put him down when he is still awake and for all of his naps and nighttime sleep. We noticed that he also puts his hands in his mouth to self-soothe. Even though we do not want him to be a finger sucker later-on, right now, we allow him to do it since we believe that practice on how to control his arousal by himself is a more important milestone than preventing him from becoming a finger sucker.


I cannot believe that this little human is already two months old. As new parents, my husband and I encounter new challenges and we are learning every day. However, I appreciate the love my son has brought into our lives and the partnership and strength my husband and I share.

- Minnie