Why are nurturing and responsive relationships critical for infants and toddlers?

"Hello, families! It has been a long time since my last posting. My life has been non-stop but now I am here to share my latest post. This article represents my passion, the reason I am in this industry as well as my belief and scope to see the relationships between babies and their primary caregivers"

          The views of human development have evolved over the last few centuries. Previous views of children’s development held by many theorists such as Darwin, Chomsky, Bandura, and Skinner were believed to be a result of nature or nurture influences. These views have more recently been replaced by a more balanced point of view (Berk, 2012). Especially, Bronfenbrenner’s (1979) social-ecological systems theory, which considers multidimensional influences that impact a child’s development and experiences. Discovering epigenetics (1) is another platform which has opened our eyes to see complex, constant interaction between multiple factors on human development (Gonzalez-Mena, 2007). The theories of human inborn nature and mind have also changed. We have seen new born babies as good, evil, not determined, incapable, and finally capable (Berk, 2012). Looking at newborn babies as human beings who are capable and ready to learn has a tremendous impact on the early childhood education area as well as human rights realm (Komulainen, 2007). In fact, many studies have uncovered their incredible ability to learn. This shift of our perceptions brought our attention to this youngest citizen in our society about how they learn and how they develop. In this paper, based on these contemporary views on development and human nature, I will explain the importance of nurturing and responsive relationships with primary caregivers and its connection to developmental characteristics of infants and toddlers.

          During the first three years of life, infants and toddlers experience significant milestones in their development (Berk, 2012). Sensitive periods, also known as “prime times” occur in this timeframe (Shore, 1997). During prime times, both positive and negative experiences have a greater chance of affecting the development of infants and toddlers in a serious and sustainable manner (Wittmer & Petersen, 2006). One of the strongest factors which shape their experiences is the caregivers around them. According to Bowlby (1969), infants develop relationships with their primary caregivers immediately after birth. Nurturing and responsive bonding experiences with their caregivers lead them to achieve secure-based attachments. Although infants or toddlers respond differently to their caregivers (Bernier & Meins, 2008), secure-based attachment is positively correlated with social and emotional development, as well as learning (Bowlby, 1969). Several studies (Bohr & Tse, 2009; Schore, 2001; Sroufe, 2003) have also addressed the notion that the formation of attachment in children’s early years has a direct correlation to their future self-reliance, emotional regulation, and social competence. For these reasons, developing attachment is the most crucial emotional milestone for children in this age group. In fact, we have to focus on the correlation between the characteristics of caregivers and different types of attachment that can occur with infants and toddlers (Ainsworth and Bell, 1970). According to this study, caregivers need to have the following characteristics to promote secure-based attachments among infants and toddlers: empathy, openness, warmth, dedication, carefulness, sensitivity, and responsiveness. 

          During the first two years of life, children experience significant changes in their body size and proportions. Even though many variables such as heredity, emotional well-being, nutrition, sleeping patterns, childhood injuries, and infectious diseases all affect children’s physical growth (Berk, 2012), children typically grow approximately 75%, and their weight quadruples from birth to their second birthday (Karpowitz, 2008). Brain development is another attribute that increases rapidly during the first three years of life (The National Scientific Council on the Developing Child, 2004). In fact, ‘serve and return (2)’  is one of the most essential experiences in brain architecture. Healthy brains develop based on stable, responsive relationships with caring adults. In other words, based on positive or negative relationships, the brain will form accordingly (Center on the Developing Child, 2017).

           Piaget (1952) conceived cognitive development from infancy to adulthood into four stages: sensorimotor, pre-operational, concrete operational, and formal operational. According to this theory, infants and toddlers are in the sensorimotor stage, and they construct their knowledge primarily through motor activities (Karpowiz, 2008). Similar to other areas of development, differences in cognitive development among individuals can vary greatly (Karpowiz, 2008; Whitebread, 2012). Whitebread (2012) argued that this may be due to innate differences in brain functionality, as well as early social interactions with caregivers. For example, different parenting behaviors (Pino Pasternak & Whitebread, 2010; Karreman, van Tuijl, van Aken & Dekovic, 2006), maternal interaction styles (Fivush, 2007), and different types of maternal stimulation (Tamis-LeMonda & Bornstein, 1989) impact children’s development and their performance of cognitive processes. 

          In terms of language development, Tomasello and Farrar (1986) revealed the vital role of joint attention (3) in the acquisition of language. Joint attention can be presented in various forms, such as mutual eye gazing, pointing, and gestures. Positive and frequent joint attention experiences can scaffold early mother-child linguistic interaction (Tomasello & Farrar, 1986). 

           We often sub-categorize child development into five closely linked areas: physical, social, emotional, cognitive, and language. However, DeGraffenreidt, Gransmick, Grafwallner, and O'Malley (2010) argued that children are born with tremendous potential and capacity for learning across all developmental domains. Not one area of child development is more important than another. However, we have learned that developing nurturing and responsive relationships with caregivers provides a crucial basis for healthy development in all domains among infants and toddlers due to their developmental characteristics. Unfortunately, we are still at the beginning stage of unveiling the mystery of infant mental health area. Therefore, more research is required.  

(1) Epigenetics. Gene expression based on people’s experiences. Some genes are turned on or turned off based on their experiences (Gonzalez-Mena, 2007) 

(2) Serve and return. Constant back and force interaction between adults and children while adults response to child’s cues and actions (Center on the Developing Child, 2017)

(3) Joint attention refers to mothers’ and infants’ shared experiences on the same object or activity (Tomasello & Farrar, 1986). Infant joint attention is largely related to language acquisition, and social and behaviour outcomes (Vaughan Van Hecke, Mundy, Block, Delgado, Parlade, Pomares, & Hobson, 2012)

References

Ainsworth, M. D., & Bell, S. M. (1970). Attachment, exploration, and separation: Illustrated by the behavior of one-year-olds in a strange situation. Child Development, 41, 49-67.

Berk, L. E. (2012). Infants and children: Prenatal through middle childhood (7th ed.).  Boston, MA: Pearson Education.

Bernier, A., & Meins, E. (2008). A threshold approach to understanding the origins of attachment disorganization. Developmental Psychology, 44(4), 969-982.  doi:10.1037/0012-1649.44.4.969.

Bohr, Y., & Tse, C. (2009). Satellite babies in transitional families: A study of parents'  decision to separate from their infants. Infant Mental Health Journal, 30(3), 265-289.  doi:10.1002/imhj.20214.

Bowlby, J. (1969). Attachment: Attachment and loss. London: The Hogarth Press and the  Institute of Psycho-Analysis.

Bronfenbrenner, U. (1979). The ecology of human development: Experiments by nature and design. Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press.

Center on the Developing Child. (2017). Serve and Return. Harvard University. Retrieved  April/17, 2017 from http://developingchild.harvard.edu/science/key-concepts/serve-and-return/

DeGraffenreidt, J. H., Gransmick, N. S., Grafwallner, R., & O'Malley, M. (2010). Healthy Beginnings: Supporting development and learning from birth to three years of age. Maryland State Department of Education.

Gonzalez-Mena, J. (2007). Infants, Toddlers, and Caregivers. 7th Edition.

Fivush, R. (2007). Maternal Reminiscing Style and Children’s Developing Understanding of Self and Emotion, Clinical Social Work, 35, 37–46.  
   
Karpowitz, D. H. (2008). Child psychology. Retrieved 01/03, 2014,  from http://psych.ku.edu/dennisk/.

Karreman, A., van Tuijl, C., van Aken, M. A., & Dekovic, M. (2006). Parenting and self-regulation in preschoolers: A meta-analysis. Infant and Child Development, 15(6),  561-579.

Komulainen, S. (2007). The ambiguity of the child's 'voice' in the social research. Childhood: A Global Journal of Child Research, 14 (1), 11-28. 

National Scientific Council on the Developing Child. (2004). Young children develop in an environment of relationships. Working Paper 1. Retrieved September/26, 2014 from http://developingchild.harvard.edu/index.php/resources/reports_and_working_papers/ working_papers/wp1/.

Piaget, J. (1952). The origins of intelligence in children. New York: International Universities Press.

Pino-Pasternak, D., & Whitebread, D. (2010). The role of parenting in children's self-regulated learning. Educational Research Review, 5, 220-242.

Schore, A. N. (2001). The effects of early relational trauma on right brain development, affect, regulation, and infant mental health. Infant Mental Health Journal, 22(1-2), 201-269.

Shore, R. (1997). Rethinking the brain: New insights into early development. New York: Families and Work Institute.

Sroufe, L. A. (2003). Attachment and development: A prospective, longitudinal Study from birth to adulthood. Attachment and Human Development, 7(4), 349-367. doi:10.1080/14616730500365928.

Tamis-LeMonda, C. S., & Bornstein, M. H. (1989). Habituation and maternal encouragement  of attention in infancy as predictors of toddler language, play, and representational  competence. Child Development , 60, 738-751.

Tomasello, M., & Farrar, M. J. (1986). Joint attention and early language. Child  Development, 57(6), 1454-1463.  

Vaughan Van Hecke, A., Mundy, P., Block, J. J., Delgado, C. E., Parlade, M. V., Pomares, Y.  
W., & Hobson, J. A. (2012). Infant responding to joint attention, executive processes,  and self-regulation in preschool children . Infant Behavior & Development, 35, 303 311. doi:10.1016/j.infbeh.2011.12.001.

Whitebread, D. (2012). Developmental psychology and early childhood education: A guide  for students and practitioners. London: Sage.

Wittmer, D. S., & Petersen, S. H. (2006). In Peter J. (Ed.), Infant and toddler development  and responsive program planning: A relationship-based approach. New Jersey:  Peterson Education, Inc.   

Looking at the very busy lives of toddlers : A new perspective

          Toddlers… Too busy? Can't sit still? Is it true that your toddler cannot focus on just one thing? Is your little one’s attention span so short that it’s impossible to have him/her sit down for more than three mins? Are you worried when your friend's child sits still and names the alphabets from a book while yours has played with more than five toys, three books and now he/she is looking at the zipper of your jacket? The following quote will transform what you have thought about your toddler. 

"We often say that toddlers have trouble paying attention. What this actually means is that they have trouble NOT paying attention. So, what they are doing is being very, very sensitive to all of the patterns of information, everything that is happening around them. Moreover, then they are taking that information and putting them to use by trying to solve problems and figure out what's going on in the world"

From "the beginning of life."

          They just focus on too many things, so it is easy to misunderstand them. Letting them explore the details of the world in their own timeline may be the best way to teach them how the world works. Your toddlers may seem too busy, can't focus and be a bit slower than others; they may be learning more things. Who knows! One day, your busy little may surprise you with what he/she has learned! 

#busytoddlers #mindfulparenting #CDABabySolutions

Solving bedtime struggles with positive behavioural guidance strategies

          As an early childhood educator, I have spent most of my days dealing with children’s behavioural issues. From the very small issues such as using a spoon to the bigger issues such as biting or hitting. You name it, and I am surely able to say that yes, I have dealt with it. In fact, the goal of management of their challenging behaviours also called ‘discipline’ is changing unwanted behaviours to wanted behaviours such as following the rules. For this, young children need to learn how to control one’s self, respect others, and use problem-solving skills, so they are eventually able to perform pro-social behaviours.  There are two different ways to discipline: punishment and guidance. Punishment focuses on correcting the behaviours instead of teaching them what accepted behaviours are while enforcing strict obedience. In particular, physical punishment including spanking is strongly discouraged by the Canadian Pediatric Society due to the possibilities of physical and emotional damage to a child (in the worst cases, damages can last permanently). It also can cause a feeling of disapproval, isolation, or shaming in your child which impacts negatively on developing a self-image for your child. On the other hand, guidance is teaching proper behaviours through encouraging them to make their own choices within the given safe and developmentally appropriate environment as well as, letting them be responsible for their own behaviours. It is a positive and gentle way to promote appropriate behaviours.

         One day, I came up with the idea that if sleeping well and independently is an ideal behaviour, could we apply the behavioural management strategies when dealing with bedtime issues? Certainly! I’d love to introduce to you some guidance strategies which are very often used in relation to bedtime struggles. Before jumping into the strategies, there are some prior conditions we need to accomplish first.

1.  Respect your child

Listen to your child, observe your child, acknowledge their feelings and show genuine interest in your child. This includes respecting your child as a human being who deserves respect from others even when misbehaving is the first step of managing behaviour problems.

2.  Get to know your child

Each child is a unique individual. Each one has a different temperament, different biological needs, different developmental stages, different tolerance levels, different abilities to accept changes, different family dynamics, etc. That’s why one method of sleep training your friend’s child is not necessarily going to work for your child. Deeper insights into your child will provide more efficient ways to deal with your child’s challenging behaviours.

3. Provide developmentally appropriate activities and set up realistic expectations

Safe but challenging activities intrigue a child’s motivation to explore. If activities provide your little one with opportunities to take risks and to experiment with its surroundings, your child will maintain its intellectual curiosity. Moreover, various and appropriate types of stimulation from different activities ensure different domains of development (e.g. physical, cognitive, social/emotional). Furthermore, having realistic expectations reduces frustration on both sides (you and your child), plans the next steps once your child meets your expectations and ensures a positive relationship between you and your child.

4. Maintain consistency

Young children need consistency in their lives. Even though their language development occurs drastically during their early lives, they still have limited linguistic comprehension skills. Therefore, you need to maintain consistency so they can understand your expectations. When you respond to your little one in one way but sometimes in another way, you confuse your child with mixed messages. Among primary caregivers (e.g. you, your partner, grandparents, nanny, etc.), you need to come up with a mutually agreed strategy to respond to certain behaviours.

5. Be firm when you need to be

You are a loving, selfless parent. I know it is hard to be firm with your child. However, young children need your lead and guidance. You need to let your little one knows that you actually mean it and you expect him/her to follow your directions. You don’t need to be harsh, but sometimes you need to be determined.

            Once you have established all these conditions, we can now apply some good guidance techniques.

1. Modeling

Be a good example for your child. You can make sleep as a priority for the entire family. Demonstrate good bedtime behaviours such as stopping the use of TVs, computers, and phones when it’s close to bedtime, cutting down on sugary and caffeinated food and drinks, or starting meditation, stress management, etc. as a part of a healthy lifestyle.

2. Setting a limit

Simple, easy, clear, and realistic rules are required.

Example:  “You can call me three times before you fall asleep. After that, you need to wait to talk to me until tomorrow morning.”

Example: “It’s 7 o’clock. You can have one more story read to you, and then, you will go to bed.”

 3. Reasoning

Explain the reasons for required behaviours.

Example: “It’s time for bed. Your body needs a rest.”

Example: “Mommy’s gonna go to her room because she needs her bed to sleep. Go to your bed. You need your bed now.”

4. Redirection

Help your child focus on the desired behaviours instead of the undesired behaviours. For example, when a child keeps throwing a toy, you can give him/her a ball. Also, if a child tries to climb the shelves, you can take him/her to the climber.

Example: (When your child keeps wanting to play with a dog instead of sleeping) “I can tell you really want to play with Koko (a dog). But he needs to sleep, too! Let’s wear puppy pyjamas and read a puppy story in the bed before you go night, night.”

5. Positive reinforcement

Ignore small negative behaviours (“small” means even though the behaviours are not desirable, it is negligible and don’t affect your little one’s safety) and praise all small positive behaviours. I can tell you that it is one of the most effective ways to manage problematic behaviours. Do not respond to every small frustration, wiggling, calling, etc. However, celebrate each small positive behaviours.

Example: Your child sits down and calls you, “Mommy, mommy, mommy!”. You know your child is safe. Then don’t respond. Finally, your child lies down again. Then you can go to your little one and say, “I really like the way you laid down on your bed and tried to sleep quietly.”

6. Providing choices

Having choices is the way to empower them, encourage their autonomy, and inspire them to take responsibility. However, you need to decide how many choices and what choices they can have based on the situations and their developmental stages. Too many choices can overwhelm your child. For example, for a toddler, it is proper to let him/her pick one choice among two to three options. Moreover, never ask them, “Do you want to go to bed?” Most likely, they will say, “No!” You can offer two to three bedtime stories, stuffed dolls to take to the bed, or pyjamas to wear. The given options should all be acceptable.

7. Positive language

Instead of using “Don’t” or “Stop”, describe the desired behaviours in a positive way.

Example: (Instead of “Stop standing up in your crib”) Lie down!

Example: (Instead of “Don’t open your eyes”) Close your eyes!

Example: (Instead of “Stop wiggling”) Stay still!

8. I messages

I messages are pretty powerfully even for adults. It shows that you care and are concerned about the other person.

Example: (Instead of “Stop calling me and go to bed”) I was worried when you called my name. It is time to sleep.

9. Letting them experience natural consequences

Again, if a situation causes serious safety concerns, you must step in. However, after providing multiple, clear, developmentally appropriate verbal warnings, you may need to let them experience natural consequences.

Example: (A child keeps throwing his/her soother out of back and you continue to return it back to them even after multiple warnings) “Okay, no soother for you tonight. Tomorrow, when you lie down nicely, you can have your soother back.”

Example: (You sit next to the bed and try to help your little one sleep, but he/she keeps sitting down in his/her bed) “Mommy’s gonna help your brother first because you are not ready to sleep.” 

10. Time-out

Some of you may question me I mention the word “time out” – What? Time-out? Are you really an early childhood professional? Time-outs are simply removing your child from a situation where misbehaving is occurring. Of course, you need to consider its use depending on your child’s developmental stage (e.g. at least at the toddler age who will understand the concept, one minute per year of age). However, the goal of time-outs is to provide your little one with a moment to gain back control and re-enter the situation, so he/she can cope better with it.

Time-outs can be performed in two ways; negative and positive. The negative way of using a time-out usually involves asking your child to stay in a certain area (e.g. a naughty chair) and stay alone. During the period, you will ignore your little one’s crying and screaming. For sure, no child likes this and your child will learn that it is not ok. However, it may cause your child to feel abandoned, rejected, frightened and confused due to its harsh and punitive function. On the other hand, a positive time-out, also called “time in” is an alternative way to the traditional time out. For the time-in, you will invite your child to sit with you outside of the situation where his/her misbehaving occurred. You will talk about your little one’s feelings and actively support your child to help him/her calm down and be ready to go back to the situation again. Through this quality time, your child can feel that you are there to support him/her while he/she can learn what are acceptable and not acceptable behaviours. For example, if your child is jumping on the bed and screaming on the bed, you can first ask your little one to sit down with you and talk about what made him/her so excited then help him/her to relax again and go back to bed.

There is also one extra situation where you can use a time-out. When the situation is out of control, you as a parent can have a time-out! Even though you love every inch of your child, it is very easy to yell back t your child when he/she is out of control. If you are feeling this way, ask your partner to watch your child, and remove yourself from the situation so you, can have time to calm down. You can engage in deep breathing exercises, stretching, meditation or simply think or see other things. Give yourself some time to regain your mind and composure. I can guarantee you this works! After this, you will be a more patient, more logical and more accepting parent. 

Hope this helps all of you lovely families! Happy New Year!